I don't know and THANKS!

These are some things that I have been thinking of the last few days, weeks and some months.

I am about to be a mother of TWO! Am I ready?
What will Mathen think of me or of "baby" when we come home?
Do I have everything I need?
Can I handle TWO kiddos by myself when everyone else is at work?
I don't want Mathen to think he is getting pushed out of the way (this brings tears to my eyes).
A positive note: I will be able to actually PLAY with Mathen more like I used to before pregnancy!
Does Mathen know how much I truly LOVE and ADORE him and he will ALWAYS be my first born, no one can ever take that place?

I know I am in preggo brain mode with all the emotions that go with it but I am being honest. I know GOD is in control and I trust that HE will guide me as the days go by in handling "life" as it comes. I am so blessed to be a part of amazing family and friends that I can call/text/email at a moments notice and they are willing to talk/listen.

I am so very thankful for a husband that goes to work all day and deals with the stress of disorderly high school students but then he comes home (most of the time with a smile) and gives Mathen and I a kiss hello! I am able to stay at home because he works so hard to provide. He even talks of getting a part time job to help. At this time, I told him I would rather see him more than have extra money. He is such a great dad and is really looking forward to the new baby coming soon! (Plus, I am looking in January to start working part time some place where Mathen and baby can come with me...i.e. church school, daycare, etc.)

I am also very thankful for in-laws that have let us move in even when we can't tell them a date we will actually get to move out. They are excited to see Mathen every day and are ready to meet little one. They have given Rick and I time to get out (without needing a sitter in advance) and grab a bite or to do some shopping/looking. Not saying it is easy for any of us to share a house but we all see the bigger picture and know that this is just temporary. They have provided more than words can ever express!

This blog is all over the place but so is my brain :) Time to enjoy some one-on-one with Mathen!